Day 154: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex*

51J3JAjYH7LFirst of all, this is a terrible transfer. The picture is very grainy and dark. The sound is so-so.

Second, even if the transfer were pristine, it would still be one hell of a shitty movie.

The film opens with credits rolling over images of rabbits. (Get it? Rabbits and sex. Yeahhh.) And jazz music: Cole Porter’s “Let’s Misbehave.”

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (But Were Afraid to Ask)
is adapted by Woody Allen from the bestselling book of the same name by David Reuben (1933 – ).

The movie is divided into seven mini episodes:

“do aphrodisiacs work?”

Setting: England Middle Ages.
Cast: Woody is a bumbling court jester.
Lynn Redgrave (1943–2010) is the queen.

The fool wants to bed the queen. Be she refuses his advances. So he seeks out a sorcerer who brews a bubbling potion that the fool gives to the queen. She drinks and becomes insatiable for the bespeckled jester. Unfortunately (for them), the queen is locked in a chastity device that requires a key that is in the possession of the king. The fool gets his hand stuck in the chastity device and the king finds them together. Woody is beheaded.

It was about as funny to watch as it was to read just then.

“what is sodomy?”

Gene Wilder (1933- ) is a doctor. One of his patients – Mr. Milos (Titos Vandis, 1917–2003) – admits to having a sexual relationship with a sheep. The patient insists that Dr. Ross (Wilder) see the sheep. He does. And falls for the wooly creature. Eventually, Continue reading

Day 155: Sleeper

416YXJA6TWLSleeper, the 1973 comedy, marks Woody’s fifth turn behind the camera.

This is a better DVD transfer than his previous steamer, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex*. And, frankly, it’s a much better movie.

But that’s still not saying much. These early Woody Allen movies are way too frenetic for my tastes. It’s like watching Keystone Cops films. Slapstick doesn’t even begin to describe them.

This picture marks the start of his Diane Keaton (1946-) phase. It also continues his love of starting films with Dixieland jazz music. And for smoking. There’s somebody smoking in virtually every Woody Allen movie.

Sleeper is the story of a Woody Allen-like character named Miles Monroe who is put under for a minor operator in 1973 and discovered two hundred years later in a capsule in the woods and awakened. The country is American but a post-war America run by an oppressive government. (Sounds a lot like 2014 to me.) His existence has to be kept secret, however, because if those in power discovered him, he’d have to have his brain scrubbed.

After a bit, the scientists admit they defrosted his capsule to use him to penetrate the government in the Western District to get the lowdown on the Aries Project. In short, the scientists, knowing Woody’s character has no identify, no fingerprints on file, and no way to be traced, want him to aid the revolutionary movement against the government.

The humor really gets rolling when Continue reading