First of all, this is a terrible transfer. The picture is very grainy and dark. The sound is so-so.

Second, even if the transfer were pristine, it would still be one hell of a shitty movie.

The film opens with credits rolling over images of rabbits. (Get it? Rabbits and sex. Yeahhh.) And jazz music: Cole Porter’s “Let’s Misbehave.”

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (But Were Afraid to Ask) is adapted by Woody Allen from the bestselling book of the same name by David Reuben (1933 – ).

The movie is divided into seven mini episodes:

“do aphrodisiacs work?”

Setting: England Middle Ages.
Cast: Woody is a bumbling court jester.
Lynn Redgrave (1943–2010) is the queen.

The fool wants to bed the queen. Be she refuses his advances. So he seeks out a sorcerer who brews a bubbling potion that the fool gives to the queen. She drinks and becomes insatiable for the bespeckled jester. Unfortunately (for them), the queen is locked in a chastity device that requires a key that is in the possession of the king. The fool gets his hand stuck in the chastity device and the king finds them together. Woody is beheaded.

It was about as funny to watch as it was to read just then.

“what is sodomy?”

Gene Wilder (1933- ) is a doctor. One of his patients – Mr. Milos (Titos Vandis, 1917–2003) – admits to having a sexual relationship with a sheep. The patient insists that Dr. Ross (Wilder) see the sheep. He does. And falls for the wooly creature. Eventually, Continue reading →